- Most people have a fear of public speaking.
- There is something you can do about it.
This fear, apparently the second most reported fear, can range from mild anxiety to debilitating terror. Most, as in 99% or more, of people have it. That includes even accomplished public speakers, actors, even teachers. So what’s to it, and what can we do about it?
As to what’s to it, who cares, really. Like knowing the name of some disease, so what, really – can we do anything about it, is the question. Still, to put it briefly, what’s to it is that we are focused on how we appear, what people will think of us, and how can we possibly be equal to all those faces in the audience. Surely some are snorting, either overtly or quietly, at how stupid we sound. We are stung, like bees, by these darts of self-consciousness, embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy. Right, that’s the problem.
The answer lies in one simple realization. This is not an event happening to US. It is an event happening to THEM, our audience. We think they’re all focused on us, how we look, whether our fly is zipped, whether we make odd facial gestures, sweat, have our hands in our pockets, don’t have our hands in our pockets, etc. It’s just not true.
Think about when you are in the audience. The speaker comes on, with some glowing introduction usually, and we’re lucky if we even hear the person’s name, and usually couldn’t care less. We’re there to hear the content. We have just come from some other activity, and we have someplace else to go when it’s over. Think about a teacher in a class, for example. Unless the guy’s holding a live chicken in his hand or something, we don’t notice a thing about him. How he’s dressed, how he stands – nah. As long as you can hear him, and he doesn’t sound overtly psychotic, we focus on the content, what he’s saying.
As speakers, we are like the waiter bringing lunch to a table. They may see us, but they don’t see us really – they are there for their lunch. As long as we bring the right things, put them down in front of the right people, and don’t pour a pitcher of beer down someone’s front, they don’t notice us at all, and forget us in the next second. They’re there for their lunch. We are completely incidental.
So it is as speakers. We are there to deliver a product to them, our speech content. As long as we speak clearly, on topic, and don’t say anything bizarre, we are practically invisible to them, and so it should be. Do we notice the lighting guys at a theater, directing the spotlights around? Or the sound guys at a concert, without whom nothing could even happen? No. Not a bit.
As speakers, we are simply delivery people. Our job is to deliver this product to them in such a way that it is clear, timely, sensible, and to the point. Some speakers spend ten minutes talking about themselves, by way of introduction. Others veer off onto anecdotes about what happened to them in Brazil one time, etc. Unless the story is somehow highly relevant to the point, we don’t care, do we.
In fact, that is annoying to an audience. They truly are NOT there to evaluate you or get to know you. If you inject that, it is annoying, distracting. THEY don’t care about you, how you are feeling in that moment, what nervousness you may have, that you had to do pushups beforehand to relieve anxiety, none of it. They are interested only in what you have to tell them and that it is delivered in a fairly straight-forward way.
So should YOU be focused. Forget you. It’s not about you. Concentrate on THEM, on THEIR experience. Just deliver it, like a waiter, smile, say thank you, and then get the hell out of there. No fanfare, just here it is, thank you, nod, exit. If it happens that they burst into wild applause after, then stay a few moments, acknowledge it, maybe nod, even slightly bow, nod again, then get the hell out of there. That’s all.
Self-consciousness means being conscious of the self. Shame on you. You are not there, in that moment, to be thinking about yourself. You are there to be thinking about them, their experience – is the lighting ok? The temperature? The sound system? It is about THEIR experience. Be conscious of THEM, not of your SELF.
We only have one consciousness. Don’t direct it at yourself – direct it at them. You will disappear – both in their eyes (consciousness) and your own. Save your critique of your performance for later. There will be time enough then.
So that’s the formula.
- Create a straight-forward content, on topic, no fluff (occasional joke ok, if mild and in good taste)
- Deliver the product smoothly, without distraction, interruption, or straying off topic, especially to talk about yourself
- Think only about what you are going to say next, look at them, remain neutral unless they break into laughter or applause, and if so, pause then and let the moment play out, then continue on
- When done, BE done, don’t fall into the temptation of, “As I said before …” Right, you did say it before so shut the hell up now. Just end, smile, nod, thank you, and exit.
When someone asks later, “How did it go?” Begin your response with, “Well they … ” Not with, “Well, I … “.
It’s not about you. Don’t make it about you. That’s the solution to self-consciousness, and is, in fact, your duty and your charge when giving a public talk. Just do it – for them.
– Henry Morse
